


Cold and Alone

by EdgeMingo



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Blood, Comfort, First Kiss, Healing, M/M, MIGHT BE TRIGGERING, Mild descriptions of violence, Regret, mild animal violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2020-10-20 19:14:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20680511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EdgeMingo/pseuds/EdgeMingo
Summary: Felix is waiting for Sylvain to come back from a simple mission; to share information with some neighboring soldiers, when Sylvain’s horse comes back... without the rider.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It was very early this morning when I decided to write this, so do pardon my mistakes... and enjoy some sylvelix with a side of sadness. :3
> 
> Chapter two coming soon...

Felix gnawed on the edge of his thumb, wringing his glove in his other hand as he loitered outside of the crumbles of Garreg Mach. Beginning to pace, but keeping his eyes on the horizon, he waited. Impatiently, at that.

Sylvain was sent off to send a message to neighboring troops, since he was trustworthy not to betray the people who remained with Dimitri, and the other Blue Lions. He was so chipper about it, and despite Felix’s stern discretion against it, Sylvain went off anyway. He took only a few other soldiers with him, but for the most part- he was alone.

_ ‘I’ll be fine. _ ’ Sylvain chuckled, slapping his shoulder. ‘ _ I won’t be long. _ ’

“I won’t be long, my ass…” Felix muttered, frowning deeply. Sylvain was supposed to be back today, right now. At this very moment, Sylvain should have been riding in and already settling down again. Unfortunately, he wasn’t; and Felix was a tad worried. 

He felt compelled to leave it be and go back inside, but as he took his eyes to the ground, he heard the familiar clicking and stomping of hooves on the soil. His eyes rising to see Sylvain’s horse galloping closer and closer now, and in that moment Felix smiled. He felt stupid, but he did.

Only for moments later for his smile to fall flat, when he noticed one crucial thing— this horse had no rider. It whinnied fearfully, rearing up as it neared Felix who was frozen in fear. Felix blinked hard, raising his hands to calm the horse. “Calm down, woah, woah…” The horse kicked wildly, but Felix managed to subdue its madness. He noted that it was indeed Sylvain’s horse, his shining armor spattered with small droplets of blood. “Oh— goddess!” He took the hand to his mouth, biting down on his finger. Almost drawing blood, but not enough to rupture the flesh.

He took the horse by the bridle, looking to see if anybody followed. No more horses, no soldiers. Felix quietly took the horse into the monastery. The stables were empty anyway, so he took into its room to make sure it wasn’t injured. It looked rather safe, give for a few scratches on its flank; not deep enough to bleed. The only blood on it was splatters here and there, and it made Felix shiver to think that it could be Sylvain’s. He quietly rest his forehead on the horse’s nose, letting out a heavy and regret-filled sigh. “Damn it. He’s such an idiot…”

The horse let out a sigh as well, perhaps in reciprocation. But it pranced lightly, its tail waving to swat away non-existent flies. Felix knew he should go and tell somebody. It wasn’t his job to babysit Sylvain. And even now, Sylvain could be dead. Lying in a ditch somewhere, rotting and alone-- Felix shouldn’t care. 

“I don’t know what he’s decided to name his stupid horse,” Felix said to himself, looking the horse in its dark eyes. “but we’re going for a ride.”

Felix, of course, didn’t excel in horse riding. But he knew well enough to keep him on the back of it, especially when it is angry or upset. He climbed onto the horse when he took it out of the stable again, putting his sword safely into his sheath and hopping onto its saddle. He looked at the sun starting to set in the distance, taking the bridle forcefully into his hands, and kicking off down the path in which the horse had returned. Felix had a vague idea of where Sylvain had gone, since he was in the meeting where it was decided he would leave.

Byleth inquired everybody of the whereabouts of Felix, but nobody had seen him since lunch. Byleth had trusted him to keep to himself, as he knew he wasn’t exactly super pleased about Sylvain leaving. But he didn’t expect him to go without asking outright. However, all they could do now was wait to see if he would return. For now, the school was searching around the grounds. Sylvain and Felix lingered in everybodys’ minds.

\--

Sylvain’s mind was incredibly cloudy, and it was hard to breathe. All he could remember was getting ambushed from behind, both of his accompanying men stealing away before they could take much more damage. What became of them, Sylvain did not know. He managed to untangle himself from his horse, and fall away into the brush before he was rediscovered. But he knew he wasn’t safe. In fact, very very far from it. 

He was covered in blood. That he knew well. He could taste it, spilling from his nose and his mouth. Everything felt so heavy, even breathing was a major effort. The wheezing was the only thing he could hear, and he held himself up. Leaning against a tree, he felt so tired… but he willed himself to stay awake. He coughed, only spewing up more fluids and staining his garments red.

He felt so loose, so he looked off into the horizon and focused on the setting sun. He wasn’t so worried he would die… rather that nobody would look for him. Or if they would find him.

Sylvain already crawled all the way over here, he couldn’t really feel his legs anymore. His hand resting upon his stomach.

“_Felix_…” He muttered lovingly, sighing. He never did tell him, did he? He laughed weakly, letting his head rest against the tree. “I’ll miss you.”


	2. Crimson River

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix has little faith that Sylvain is still alive, so he hurries off to find him... something in him finds hope to go on.

Felix was riding fast and hard, into the wilderness that surrounded their living space. He could hear an oncoming storm, thunder booming in the distance far off.

He would have counted to see how far away it was until he hit the storm, but his task was on his mind and that was all he could think about. He was coming into a heavily wooded area, contemplating how far Sylvain would have tread. He could still see fresh marks in the dirt, scraping hooves across the ground.

Suddenly he saw it, pulling the reins to make the horse slow to a stop. In a hurry, he climbed off of the horse. Realizing he had nothing to tie it to, holding the leather straps idly in his hands. “Um…” He dropped them, slowly backing away from the horse. Holding his hands up, palms away. “Stay.”

The horse looked at him, but didn’t express the need to run away, so Felix turned around to look at what he saw- spots of blood dotting the soil. It had to be blood, there was nothing else this far out that could stain the ground so brilliantly scarlet. Felix couldn’t decide if it was a good thing, or a bad thing if it  _ was  _ Sylvain’s blood.

He shrugged it off, pushing into the foliage and roughly making his way through. “I can’t believe I’m getting all muddy for that asshole.” He muttered, looking into the brush and grasses for any signs of the redhead.

“...Sylvain.” He called quietly, continuing to squeeze through the trees. “Sylvain?”

Felix heard nothing, but suddenly he felt his heart beating in his chest. Loud and strong… it hadn’t been like this before.

“Sylvain!” He cried, his lungs pouring all of his emotions into that one, stupid name. A name he had come to know too well, saying it more than most. “ _ Sylvain _ !”

“...I’m here.” He heard a rasping. Quiet and soft. “Felix…? I’m here.”

Felix felt his blood rushing, so quick- like nothing had ever pushed his adrenaline like this before. “Sylvain.” He followed the voice, pushing on, until he came to a particularly tall grass. A man resting upon the ground, who looked quite dead but was very much alive. Felix screamed, almost in agony, shielding his eyes for a moment. “Oh my god—!”

Sylvain mumbled something incoherently, but Felix could see him smile through the blood. His eyes still the chocolatey brown that was so familiar. The red casting out all other colors in favor of crimson. He looked like he had been  _ murdered _ .

Felix got down beside him, his mouth agape with both fear and a strange admiration. “How are you still alive?” His voice was filled with a pinching anger, his hands hovering because he was so dirty— he was unsure he should touch him at all. But he couldn’t just leave him here.

Sylvain shook his head, his hand sliding limply off of his stomach to reveal a deep and gaping wound between the plates of his armor. Above his hip, but still dangerously exposed. “I’m-“

Felix hushed him, surveying the circumstances with worried eyes. “Don’t waste your breath now… I need to get you back.”

“Alone?” Sylvain coughed, his eyes watering. 

“Can you stand?” He asked. Sylvain shrugged, making Felix a little more angry than anticipated- but his anger wasn’t really directed at Sylvain, but rather at the people that hurt him. He slid his arm beneath his back, smelling the strong aura of iron and dirt upon his companion. “Look, let’s try and get you up on three, okay?” 

Sylvain nodded, bending his knees in preparations to stand. “One, two, and-- three!” With some grunts and groans, Sylvain was successfully up on his feet again, but he had a lot of weight resting on Felix. He was panting loudly, but it sounded so weak and tired. “Oh, goddess… how am I going to get you onto the horse?” Felix muttered, biting his lip.

“I’ll help… as much as I can.” Sylvain breathed, his supported arm wrapping tightly around Felix’s skinny frame. He smiled, his eyes shut. “I really owe you one.”

“Shut up.” Felix returned, helping Sylvain limp back on over to his steed. “Let’s just get you back before the rain comes much harder.”

Sylvain couldn’t see or hear much, it felt like a weight was pressing down on all of his senses, but he could feel the cold spit of rain on his face. The weather had been fairly rainy all season, but from the recent reports it was supposed to get worse.

With the help of Felix, Sylvain was able to get back onto the horse-- Felix following and sitting behind him so he wouldn’t fall off. Thoughts and sounds were barely coherent, so he could barely comprehend anything other than “hold on tight.” The ride was swift, but it was not too fast. Had it been much faster, Sylvain probably would have passed out… but Felix took care in getting home safely.

After that, he remembered nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MDJFJDHS people seem to be digging this so far huh?? Thanks for all of the love <3
> 
> Chapter 3 will be the final chapter!


	3. The Burden of Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sylvain is safe and sound once again, but there is one more amend to make.

When Sylvain finally came to, he was in one of the infirmary beds. He felt a dull ache above his right hip, but otherwise he felt pretty decent. Still tired though.

It was dark outside, the only light was coming from inside the room. Upon further examination- there was somebody else present. Not in one of the beds, but beside his own, sitting in a chair, fast asleep.

“Felix.” Sylvain murmured, knowingly. He sighed, desperately trying to remember what happened before. As if he was saying it for the first time in a long time, he said it again. “Felix…” He tested his abilities-- being wounded and all, trying to turn a little to face the sleeping man. He hissed, gasping and falling back flat again. It probably wasn’t the best idea to move his hips like that.

“Hm?” Sylvain’s noisiness had aroused Felix out of sleep, and he sat up with sleepy eyes. His hair looked messier than usual, but it was still pulled behind his head into a ponytail. Swishing and swaying, his hair had grown quite long in the past years. Sylvain was certain he had no idea what to do with it… It was always so messy. “Mm, good morning…”

“Well, good night. Actually.” Sylvain chuckled lightly, putting his hands on this thighs. He was propped up by far too many pillows, but he was in too much pain to try and adjust them himself. 

Felix looked so out of it. Rubbing his eyes, he yawned. “...How are you feeling?”

Sylvain blinked, intimidated that Felix was being so gentle. Maybe it was just because he was tired, or just waking up. “I’m alright. Feeling a lot better.” Sylvain murmured, nodding. “Better than when I was lying in the dirt.”

Felix frowned at that, covering his mouth with his palm. He took his eyes away from Sylvain, staring idly at the wall.

Sylvain wasn’t sure what to say, so he tried to redeem his subject change with something entirely different. “How’s Hugo?”

“...Who?” Felix inquired, his eyebrows furrowing.

“My horse.”

“His name… is Hugo.”

“Yeah.” Sylvain chuckled, pressing his index fingers together. His hands felt so cold; blood loss probably didn’t help his case. “Hugo Gautier… he’s a good horse.”

Felix snickered lightly, his hand drifting away from his mouth and back into his lap. “I didn’t know you named your pets.”

“I mean, I didn’t! Until I got Hugo.” Sylvain smiled, thinking fondly of the animal. Felix and him were on stable duty one day, and he remembered… that’s when he chose the name. “Yeah… Hugo.”

“Why Hugo?” Felix asked, although deep inside he knew. It panged his heart, knowing Sylvain had done so for a reason. 

Sylvain stayed quiet for a moment, clasping his hands in his lap. “Well, I… It’s-”

“My middle name.” Felix finished his thought, he was sitting so close to the bed he could rest his elbows on it, so he did. “And your last name.”

Sylvain stole his eyes away, his face gaining a red sheen- rosy cheeks pulling together pursed lips. He used his hand to fix his hair, sighing. “...Yeah.”

Felix smiled mischievously, closing his eyes. “To think… to think somebody as brilliant as you would be anxious to admit you loved somebody so. Your idolization of wooing and beckoning women…” Felix shook his head. “You’re a joke.”

Sylvain rubbed the back of his neck, letting out a heavy exhale. “...I know.”

Felix watched Sylvain closely, and he still refused to look him in the eye. Felix had always been so blunt, and shamed Sylvain for what he was-- a mere shell of a man, that covered up a decent and caring heart inside. He hadn’t always put it so nicely though. “Do you need me to say it?”

“What?” Sylvain’s eyes final took to him again, that deep and melting hazel that burned into Felix’s soul. “Say what?”

“I saved you because I… care about you, Sylvain.” Felix muttered, reaching out to rest his hand on the other man’s shin. “Nobody told me to do it.”

Sylvain’s pupils narrowed and he grew a bit stiff, but he tried his best to make it seem like he didn’t mind the touch. “...Really?”

“Yes. I went alone on my own will…” Felix scoffed gently, rolling his eyes. “Sylvain… remember that promise we made?”

“When we were kids?” Sylvain replied, watching Felix stand from his seat and take place next to him on the bed. Felix hadn’t gotten much taller over time… it still made Sylvain laugh thinking he was taller than the heir of Fraldarius. He expected Felix to be much taller, but he still found himself looking down. “About sticking together?”

Felix nodded, gently waving his hand towards his bandaged side. “You almost broke it today. Hm?”

“It was out of my control,” Sylvain frowned, his shoulders falling. “but I am… forever grateful that you came to help me. I can’t believe you remembered that...  _ stupid _ promise.”

“It isn’t stupid.” Felix murmured, leaning close to Sylvain. “I stand by it. I always have. You’re so reckless… but I don’t intend to always be there to protect you. You must take better care of yourself.”

“Man, after all that you think I would have learned my lesson!” Sylvain laughed, immediately cringing in pain as it pulled at his side. “Mm… this is going to take some getting used to.”

“Can I do anything to help?”

“Well, maybe you can kiss me better.” Sylvain joked, his voice low and breathy. Their faces were so close, but the distance was just a little too much. 

Felix took the invitation right out of Sylvain’s mouth, taking him by his shirt and pulling his lips onto his. It was a deep and sentimental kiss, filled with warmth and passion. There was still a faint taste of blood in Sylvain’s mouth, but it made Felix feel so much more… alive.

He let him go, leaving a small space between them for air. Felix’s chest was heaving-- perhaps with fear, or embarrassment. Especially when Sylvain said nothing to him. Maybe it was a mistake. Before he could back off though, a cold hand came up to cradle his face, fingers splayed across the back of his neck. In an additional shock, Felix was kissed again. With that same sort of passion that Felix had tried to put into his own. His first kiss… with his childhood companion. No-- partner.

Felix gasped when Sylvain parted, blinking hard. As if the life had been sucked out of him, by some sort of beast. He felt a sort of shame welling in his heart, a feeling he had never felt before. “...Oh.” Was all he could manage to utter, his tongue peeking out and massaging his bottom lip just a little. He could  _ taste  _ it, but it wasn’t a sickly taste. Sweet and warm, Sylvain’s kiss had tainted his usually bitter attitude.

“Felix,” Sylvain sighed, moving enough so that he did not hurt himself, but he was sitting on his side. “we’ve been putting this off for a long time.”

“I know.” He shut his eyes, feeling overwhelmed by Sylvain’s glare. “I know.”

“...I’ve been oblivious too. I really have.” The redhead looked discontented, frowning. “But I would like to change that. If that’s… okay with you.”

“That sounds... great.” Felix nodded, reaching up and placing his hand atop Sylvain’s. He smiled, genuinely, for the first time in a long while. “Let’s make-up for lost time. Together.”

“Together.” Sylvain said lovingly, pressing an adoring kiss to Felix’s cheek. “Always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took me so long! I got sick, and school took me away from writing and drawing... but I hope the wait was worth it! Enjoy <3


End file.
